Reflection

Naturally, I, like everyone else, have been thinking about the New Year.  Last year I didn’t make any goals or resolutions because things were going along in ways that I never imagined…meeting the man of my dreams, getting married, and moving to a new state to a new life.  Now that I’ve had the time to adjust and look back over the past year I’ve decided that I’m ready to make some serious life changes.
I’ve been doing a lot of research about setting goals and life areas.  I’ve written my goals and plan to achieve them…. there’s only one problem ~ a lack of total support.  With hubs gone 6 days a week my days can become totally unstructured.  I know that it’s up to me and I think that maybe this time I can work on my goals alone.  The reason I think I can is that God is more in my life now than ever before.  Like I’ve said before… He just keeps slapping me upside the head with more wisdom and knowledge.
The main categories I’m planning on working on are:

SPIRITUAL.  This needs to be first because with God there is nothing.
1.  I will read the Word.  Each morning I have been reading the Word first thing without hesitation.  That will continue into the New Year.
2. Apply the Word.  I will actually, not just listen to what God has to tell me but apply it as well.  My plan is to set my phone alarm for three times during the day… just a reminder to see if I’m where I’m supposed to be.  To remind me to apply what I’ve learned, a check-in so to speak.

HEALTH.  This needs to be second because without my health obviously I can’t do anything now can I?
1.  I will eat breakfast every day without fail.  Seems simple doesn’t it?  But for me once my day starts it’s all systems go.  I start my day at a run and I’m never “hungry” first thing.  Not so for the hubs.  So I’m going to eat breakfast daily.
2.  I will move for a minimum of thirty minutes a day.  I know I can’t do heavy exercise (because I need to gain weight first) but I can walk or do yoga or stretch.

PERSONAL.  This is third because I have learned that I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others and since taking care of others is my job… well, enough said.
1. I will do things for me ~ manis and pedis, reading, etc.  Sounds simple but it’s been something I feel I’ve been neglecting.

MY BLESSING.  This is Hubs.
1.  I will continue to pray for him daily.
2.  I will become more interested in his hobbies (this is a tough one).
I’ve been doing weekly challenges with http://www.abowlfullof lemons.com and I will continue to do them.
These are the few I’ve planned so far.  I’m sure there will be more to come as days go by.

Just Life

It’s been a busy week….thus the reason I haven’t blogged.  Hubs came home from the hitch early sick (sinus infection) so he’s been home the past week.  As much as I love to have him near me, it sure does throw off my schedules and plans!  Then there was Christmas shopping, wrapping, cards, and mailing.
I set my schedules around Hub’s schedule, he’s gone 6 days and home for 3. When my schedule gets off kilter so do I.  I have to admit that this time I have been better about not getting freaky about it (thank you, Father!)… doing the minimum so that I can spend my time taking care of him and just being with him.  So what if the house needs a good cleaning? i got to spend time with Hubs and help him get well for the next hitch.
Today is the day the next hitch begins which means staying really quiet for most of the day while he’s sleeping, packing him up and getting him to work.  Doesn’t sound like a big deal but it is.  By staying quiet it means that showering and getting ready for the day are later than my schedule (setting me off).  By packing him up means taking everything out of the bag and repacking for this hitch, checking and double checking he has everything and then some.  Getting him to work means that my heart breaks because our time together is over.  It never gets any easier and I don’t think it ever will!
I’m grateful that I can drive the 2 hours once a week to spend time with him, or watching him sleep really.  That time means so much to us…just being close and catching up. I usually do that in the middle of the hitch ~ it restores us for the next few days.
God has been speaking to me …mostly about my schedules.  Everyday Hubs has been home my study has in some way touched my heart to release my expectations.  It’s like following the laws that you can never quite reach (Old Testament).  I’ve taken His words to heart and just let it be.  You know what?  The house didn’t fall in on itself and life went on.
So what have a learned?  Life is not about rules and schedules.  Sure you need them but they aren’t written in stone and need to be flexible.  If I had spent the time on my schedule Hubs would have felt out of place in his own home (which he already does to some extent).  I wouldn’t have been taking care of him like I should have.
So thank you, Father, for showing me where my energies should lie!

POP

Isn’t it a strange and awesome thing when something pops out at you and it was just what you needed!?Yea, that happens quite a lot during my quiet time with the Lord.  You see, every morning, first thing I do my Bible study and pray.  Today the Lord spoke to me once again…Haggai 1 and 2.  As I began my study, I realized that I had never read Haggai, well, okay maybe I had but it hadn’t “spoke” to me.  The jest of the study was priorities ~ what we choose to do or not do really reflects what’s important to you.  Don’t you just love how the Lord just gives you a slap upside your head!?It made me realize that although the Lord had blessed us with so much this past year I wasn’t really taking the time to make him a top priority.  Sure, I do my Bible study and prayer but as for making sure He is the purpose of everything I do, no, honestly, I haven’t been doing that.  Could this be where my discontent comes in?  I’m thinking ~ YES.  I’m putting things that aren’t important ahead of Him.  I’m spending my days cleaning (grudgingly) and on the computer, no wonder I’m discontent!I’m looking at everyone’s life instead of my own….I’m looking for answers through them when the answers are right where I should have looked first…in The Word.  I mean, we know that’s where the answers are but it’s after we fall to our knees do we go look there.  It should be the first place that we look… the first place where we start our goals.  (I’m big on goals by the way.)So the first thing that I did, before I even started my prayers, was to write it down where we all could see it and remember it.  I got a picture frame, put a pretty piece of scrapbook paper in it and wrote Haggai 1:1-5  and 2:15 with a dry erase marker (a little pinterest trick).  I put it right in the kitchen where everyone could see it.  I figure hubs and son may just read it once but every time they go into the kitchen and see that frame something may just click.I’m so grateful that the Lord gives us second (third, fourth, etc.) chances!  Chances to get it right, Chances to grow in Him.  Let’s just remember that, okay?

Everyone has to Start Somewhere!

I’ve been debating this for a long time… this blog thing.  I read blogs all day long, I have a lot of time on my hands these days.  Blogs have inspired me, supported my beliefs, made me think, encouraged me, made me laugh and made me cry.  Blogs have touched my heart, made me think about who I am and what I want from life.  I don’t know it my blog will have any impact on others but I think it’s time for me to put myself out there.

My life has changed so much in the past year…God has blessed me with the most wonderful man in the world (we all say that, I know but he is!), a move to a beautiful state, a beautiful home and a whole new life.  But, yep, there’s always a but, but these blessings have also taken me completely out of my comfort zone.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change anything about the past year… but it’s getting into the swing of the new life that has me in a tizzy.I have more time on my hands to do, think and be than I’ve ever had in my life!  Hubs is gone six days a week and home three which means I’m alone a lot. Okay, I’ll admit I have a 22 year old still in the house but when I say alone I know, you know what I’m talking about.

There are days when my mind is going a 100 mph with things to do… cleaning, crafts, errands, etc.  Those are my “happy” days, the days when I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be, doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

Then there are the days when I’m completely and totally unproductive… really who cares if you got dressed today? If you ate three good meals or ate a whole bag of Oreos? I become grumpy, irritable and let those darn worries start to take over.  I make mountains out of mole hills in my mind ~ get hooked in and can’t let go ~ then the anxiety attacks take over… Not really my cup of tea.  Then after the attack I vow that I won’t let those days happen again…yea, right.

So this blog will be  my way of dealing with my thoughts, a place to work on my goals… okay, okay my therapist.!  I hope you will join me on my journey… come on…